想放弃了，感觉自己可能坚持不下来 I want to give up
最近一段时间在研究wrf-chem，感觉自己真的不擅长这个。可是我还擅长什么呢？突然感到很绝望。
自己做事从来都是开了很多头，但是没结多少尾。实际上浪费了大好时光，但凡我在大一开学坚持了一个方向，都不至于像现在这个样子。突然感到自己好无助，似乎自己没有什么一技之长，一直实现不了成为一名优秀的科学家的梦想。
这种情况从大一开始就出现了，只是大学不像高中有明确的评价标准，对自己的倦怠无法用分数及时衡量，自己不管是在自律、运动、为人处事方面，都有明显的退步。
我像是卡在了一个地方一样，跟大一的我比起来，我似乎没什么改变。大学四年并没有给我带来什么正向的影响，反而我自认为相比高中我退步了不少。我真的很害怕现在这种状态，我不想一辈子停在这里。
我好想做出一点什么贡献，给人类的知识大厦添一块砖，感觉这样才能不枉此生。但是越学越不对劲，似乎日子永远看不到头，我很难确定我是因为自己的问题导致停滞不前，还是知识本身就是有这么难，我只是处于瓶颈期罢了。
我一定要改变自己，让自己成为更好的人，要成为一名优秀的科学家。
I want to give up. I feel like I might not be able to hold on.
Recently, I’ve been researching WRF - Chem, and I really feel that I’m not good at this. But what else am I good at? I suddenly feel very desperate.
I’ve always started a lot of things, but seldom finished them. In fact, I’ve wasted a great deal of time. If I had stuck to one direction since the beginning of my freshman year, I wouldn’t be in this situation now. I suddenly feel so helpless. It seems that I don’t have any particular skills, and I’ve never been able to realize my dream of becoming an excellent scientist.
This situation has existed since my freshman year. However, college is not like high school, which has clear evaluation criteria. I can’t measure my burnout in a timely manner with scores. I’ve regressed significantly in terms of self - discipline, exercise, and interpersonal skills.
I seem to be stuck in one place. Compared with myself as a freshman, I don’t seem to have changed much. The four - year college life hasn’t had any positive impact on me. Instead, I think I’ve regressed a lot compared to high school. I’m really scared of my current state. I don’t want to stay like this for the rest of my life.
I really want to make some contributions, to add a brick to the edifice of human knowledge. I feel that only in this way can I live a worthy life. But the more I learn, the more something seems off. It seems that there is no end in sight. It’s hard for me to determine whether it’s my own problem that has caused me to stagnate, or if knowledge itself is just that difficult and I’m just in a bottleneck period.
I must change myself and become a better person. I want to become an excellent scientist.