今天是2025年的1月2日，新的一年开始了，我打算在新的一年做点不一样的事情。我觉得最重要的是就是逃出自己的牢笼。

自我的牢笼

什么是自己的牢笼呢？我经常注意到这样一种情况，我一旦有一个长时间积累的习惯就一直就无法摆脱它；我从小就数学不好，后来就一直厌恶理工科；想每天坚持跑4公里，但是坚持了在将近两个星期之后没有动力再坚持了。这一切的一切就像一个牢笼，因为从客观条件来说，我完全有能力做到以上这些事情。就比如说每天坚持跑4公里这件事情上，我曾经在很长一段时间坚持了将近两个月。但是后来遇到了要期末考试，就把大量的时间花在准备期末考试。那一段时间我就没有继续每天坚持跑4公里，然后我发现想再重新捡起来，这个习惯就变得非常困难了。但实际上我从身体条件来讲，每天坚持跑4公里，并不会对我的身体造成有任何不适。我单纯就是懒。而已，或者坚持了一段时间会觉得缺乏新鲜感，因为每天都跑10公里，好像缺乏挑战性，但是如果每天都坚持往前面多跑一点又会感觉身心疲惫。因为人的体能增长是一个阶段一个阶段的，而不是完全的线性增长。往往是在坚持很长一段时间之后，体能并没有上升，而是达到了一定阶段之后会重新感觉到自己有一个质的飞跃。

我还有一个非常不好的习惯，就是一紧张就会咬指甲，特别是在考试的过程中。而且这种习惯往往是无意间的，而且无法克制的。以至于咬指甲这个动作形成了我的肌肉习惯，当我遇到一些非常紧急的事情时就会咬指甲，范围还不仅限于考试。比如看电影看到了一个紧张的桥段，非常担心结局是一个bad ending。

充分利用自己的时间

2025年另外一件非常重要的事情就是充分利用好自己的时间。两年来我一直坚持的一个习惯就是记一下每天我把时间花在哪些事情上。这个灵感来自于一位俄罗斯科学家柳比歇夫，我通过阅读他的故事了解。到只要不断统计自己每天的时间花销并且及时反馈及时纠正，就可以充分提高自己的时间利用效率。这位苏联的昆虫学家、哲学家和数学家，用他的一生诠释了什么是真正的“时间管理大师”。他不仅在昆虫学领域有着卓越的贡献，发现了6000多种地蚤的新品种，还涉猎了哲学、数学等多个学科，发表了70多部学术著作。更令人惊叹的是，他通过独创的“时间统计法”，对自己每天的时间使用情况进行详细记录和分析，从而不断优化自己的工作和生活。这种对时间的极致掌控和高效利用，使得他在有限的生命里取得了非凡的成就。可以说，留比歇夫的一生，就是一部关于时间管理和自我提升的传奇。

我还发现一个20%定律。可以说这也是关于我自己时间的28法则吧。简单来讲，我一天中的时间只有20%，真正发挥了他所应该有的作用，而其他80%的时间实际上并没有为我想达到目标发挥应当有的作用。比如我有的时候会花很多时间在淘宝上去看各种显卡价格，但实际上我现在的经济水平并没有能力买一张性能良好的显卡。花了很多时间了解各种显卡的参数，最后感觉也就是自己的脑子爽了一爽。

于是我打算把自己的时间利用效率提高。第1点要改进的就是不要做太多事，而是要做更少的事。把手上的牌先打好。人的一生最重要的并不是事情开了多少个头，而是结了多少个尾。有的时候学习很贪心，看了很多很多书，但是真正看完的书根本就没有几本。有的时候三分钟热度，做了一段时间之后又对它不感兴趣了，感觉它好像并没有对我的人生发挥什么有重要意义的作用。第2点要改进的事就是更加详细和精细的记录自己每天花了多少时间，做了什么事，并且要在每天晚上及时总结。只记录不总结是没有用的，提供一个不断反馈的正循环，这有点像控制论所说的吧。

处理好自己的人际关系

我发现自己从小到大，在学校接受了很多知识，但是有很多人生中非常重要的事情却没有得到应该有的教育，我自己也没有意识要主动去学习这方面的内容。比如一件很重要的事情，就是如何去爱一个人。有的时候想想自己跟父母联系不多，电话打的很少，相互关系之间很冷淡。但是对身边很多陌生人却非常地热心。感觉自己本末倒置。如果一个人对自己最爱的人关系最亲密的人都处理不好关系，怎么能指望他在别的事情上有更大的成就呢？在这一点上我做的不是很好。

而且在两性关系上，我不知道怎么才能和异性建立亲密关系。不知道一段健康的恋爱关系是怎么样的，可以说我在人生这件重要的事情上没有受到过相关的教育，也没有主动去学习如何成为一名合格的“另一半”。学会爱别人，是人的人格不可或缺的一部分。

今天就写这么多吧，关键是写博客要坚持，不然明天没有什么可写的了。

English version

Today is January 2, 2024, and the new year has begun. I plan to do something different this year. I believe the most important thing is to break free from my own cage.

My Own Cage

What is my own cage? I often notice that once I develop a long-standing habit, it becomes almost impossible to break free from it. For example, I’ve been bad at math since childhood, and as a result, I’ve always disliked STEM subjects. I wanted to run 4 kilometers every day, but after nearly two weeks, I lost the motivation to continue. All of these things feel like a cage because, objectively, I am fully capable of achieving them. Take running 4 kilometers daily, for instance—I once kept it up for nearly two months. However, when final exams came around, I spent most of my time preparing for them and stopped running. After that, I found it extremely difficult to pick up the habit again. Physically, running 4 kilometers daily wouldn’t cause me any discomfort. It’s simply that I’m lazy, or after a while, I feel it lacks novelty. Running the same distance every day seems unchallenging, but pushing myself to run a little more each day leaves me physically and mentally exhausted. This is because physical endurance improves in stages rather than linearly. Often, after persisting for a long time, my endurance doesn’t increase immediately but reaches a certain stage before I feel a qualitative leap.

Another bad habit I have is biting my nails when I’m nervous, especially during exams. This habit is often unconscious and uncontrollable, to the point where it has become a muscle memory. I bite my nails not only during exams but also in other stressful situations, like watching a tense scene in a movie and worrying about a bad ending.

Making the Most of My Time

Another important goal for 2025 is to make better use of my time. For the past two years, I’ve maintained a habit of tracking how I spend my time each day. This idea was inspired by a Russian scientist, Lyubishchev, whose story I read. By continuously recording and analyzing my daily time usage and making timely adjustments, I can significantly improve my time efficiency. This Soviet entomologist, philosopher, and mathematician exemplified what it means to be a true “time management master.” Not only did he make outstanding contributions to entomology, discovering over 6,000 new species of fleas, but he also delved into philosophy, mathematics, and other fields, publishing more than 70 academic works. What’s even more astonishing is that he developed a unique “time-tracking method,” meticulously recording and analyzing his daily time usage to optimize his work and life. This extreme control and efficient use of time allowed him to achieve extraordinary accomplishments in his limited lifespan. Lyubishchev’s life is a legend of time management and self-improvement.

I’ve also discovered a 20% rule, which is essentially my own version of the 80/20 principle regarding time. Simply put, only 20% of my daily time is truly productive, while the remaining 80% doesn’t contribute meaningfully to my goals. For example, I sometimes spend hours browsing Taobao for graphics cards, even though my current financial situation doesn’t allow me to buy a high-performance one. I spend a lot of time learning about various graphics card specifications, but in the end, it’s just a mental indulgence.

Therefore, I plan to improve my time efficiency. The first step is to do fewer things but do them well. It’s more important to finish what I start than to begin many things. Sometimes, I’m too greedy in my studies, reading many books but finishing very few. Other times, I lose interest after a short period, feeling that it hasn’t contributed meaningfully to my life. The second step is to record my daily time usage in more detail and summarize it every night. Simply recording without reflection is useless. Creating a positive feedback loop is somewhat similar to what cybernetics suggests.

Managing Relationships

I’ve realized that while I’ve learned a lot of knowledge in school, many important aspects of life haven’t been adequately taught, and I haven’t actively sought to learn them myself. For example, one crucial thing is how to love someone. Sometimes, I think about how little I communicate with my parents, rarely calling them, and our relationship feels distant. Yet, I’m very warm and helpful to many strangers around me. It feels like I’ve got my priorities backward. If someone can’t manage relationships with their closest loved ones, how can they expect to achieve greater things in other areas? I haven’t done well in this regard.

Moreover, in romantic relationships, I don’t know how to build intimacy with the opposite sex. I don’t know what a healthy romantic relationship looks like. It’s safe to say that I haven’t received any education on this important aspect of life, nor have I actively learned how to be a good partner. Learning to love others is an indispensable part of one’s character.

That’s all for today. The key is to keep writing this blog consistently; otherwise, I won’t have anything to write about tomorrow.